Monday, December 11, 2006
9:47:00 PM
I read S's last post and just couldn't control, so I just cried. But I kept wondering why I cried. Why? Was it because I was touched by what she said? Or was it because I am disappointed with myself for not having enough courage to receive and to accept Christ?
When I was in the auditorium on Saturday,
everyone knew what they were doing, I was so
lost. But I didn't show it. Not that I didn't want to, but I didn't know how to. I really felt lost and many thoughts kept going through my mind. So many that I felt
faint. I didn't what to do, what to expect. I didn't even know if I was supposed to expect anything. I just felt like really lost. I dunno how to say. Whenever someone asks me what is stopping you from accepting Christ, I just feel like I'm this person who's even worse than a mute that cannot even express my own feelings. I don't even know how I feel lorh. Am I even repeating myself here? Cos I'm like still crying so I dunno. Sorry. People ask me am I okay I say I am because I haven't even asked myself whether I am or not. Then it's like when I ask myself, I still dunno or I choose to ignore. I think I'm crazy larh. If I didn't read S's post, I wouldn't have said it. I just think that if I can't say face-to-face to S then now she can know how I feel then she can talk and advice me lorh.
